Big Girl

You did your very first swim lesson without me in the water, like a “big girl”. You also started climbing out of the crib, and have quickly transitioned to a “big girl bed”. You bought some “big girl underpants” to wear while toilet learning. I never thought I’d be one of those parents who weeps over a child growing up. And yet here I find myself. Frightened and proud. Broken and blissful. Mourning and celebrating. The dichotomy is overwhelming. 

I love you. I am so proud of you. Your snuggles and sweet words melt my heart, but please know that you are not responsible for meeting my emotional needs. Your smile brightens up a room and is contagious… but you are not responsible for my happiness, nor the happiness of others. You can and should be responsible TO others but not responsible FOR them. I hope you remember that as you continue to grow up, my loving and open-hearted child. 

Before bed, after reviewing the day together, you ask me to pick you up to do big cuddles and tell you all of the things that I love about you. You are brave. You are smart. You are determined. You are a good friend. You are gentle. You are strong. You are kind. You are loving. You are beautiful. You are hard-working. You usually remind me of a good description that I’ve left out. Tonight you reminded me that you’re a “good snuggler”. Indeed, you are. 

You are growing and learning so quickly every day. Sometimes I forget that you are only two years old! You seem like a wise old soul in a tiny body. At times, you observe the world with such seriousness, and you can get lost in a state of flow like no other toddler I know. 

You are such a remarkable and intuitive little girl. You make being your mommy both a gift and a challenge. You continue to help me to grow as a parent, teacher, artist, and a human being. You challenge me to prioritize my life, and to live in the moment. 
We won the lottery when we took a chance on you. You were totally worth the wait. 

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2 thoughts on “Big Girl

  1. My first “rainbow” is turning 11 this year. I remember the swim class she went swimming on her own. Hope stopped swim because mommy wasn’t in the pool. Later it was because “swimming wasn’t her thing.” Here is to all those moments with Willow.

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